happy days

someone said, abruptly, to me this weekend: “i can’t wait to see you when you’re happy”

kind of took me by surprise. i kept quiet.

i think back at the happier times in my life, and i wonder if i was truly happy at those times. i don’t mean “did you ever smile” kind of happy. what i wonder is if i ever went through those kind of “life is good, everything’s honky dory, I’m constantly happy” periods.

i can’t give a definite answer. i would sure like to say yes, but then i’d just be a fucking liar.

And oh yeah, i can’t wait either.