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Monday, August 30, 2004


the washington post had this article over the weekend about pet care. One thing it focusedon was when to say enough is enough and left the pet go.there was an example of a cat with a kidney transplant and how even with all the daily meds,it was the best decision they made.
did i do the right thing? i never broached that topic with the vet, even though i read somewhere that it was an option. was i too selfish? was it because i didn't want to spend the money on the transplant and the commitment to give her meds for the rest of her life? i don't know. maybe i doknow but i don't want to admit it.

i don't know if i'll ever get a satisfactory answer. did i do enough? did i do all i could? maybe ishould've done more for her. maybe she would've lived much longer after the transplant.
sometimes i close my eyes at night and i see bibi. i see her sitting there, looking at me. i see hercrawling into bed, looking to squeeze under the blankets. i see her on the doctor's table at the end.

i try to find some clues. something that says i did the best for her. i can't find any. i don't know. i really don't.


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