dear fedex

please learn how to use a map.

if a package is being delivered from florida to maryland, there is absolutely no need for the package to ever get to lewisberry, pa. you could've just dropped the package off somewhere in maryland, at my house, for example, while you drove through it to get to lewisberry.

but why should i expect you to do the logical thing? you want to accumulate more miles, use up more gas, pollute our air, kill our kids' earth, that's fine by me (yes, i'm being overly dramatic).

just make sure i have the fucking package by tomorrow.