b. a. d.

beat.  angry.  disappointed.  

i started to write.

then everything stalled.  sentences come out jumbled and ugly.  thoughts came flying unorganized and chaotic.

how do you translate the anger you feel into words?  the kind of anger that “fuck you” won’t suffice.  the kind of anger where you can only laugh to avoid spontaneous combustion.  the kind that keeps you up at night, causing your heart rate to spike, your ears to burn.

how do you explain the disappointment you feel?  the type that makes you question your previous judgments and reevaluate them one by one, just to avoid being disappointed like this ever again.  the kind that reaffirms your belief that humans aren’t intrinsically good.  the kind that makes you trust others even lesser now.  the kind that makes you become even more cynical about everything around you.

if this is any indication of how 06 will be, please, someone, please run me over with a car.