indulgence

i sit down, knowing what i need to do.  no, not need to do.   let me rephrase that.  i have to.

it’s for my own good.  you know how sometimes you let things linger, even when you know that you should’ve cut it off long ago?  yeah, this is it.

it’s gotten to the point where i don’t even mention it to others.  what’s the point?  they’ll pretend to understand, but on the flip side of their sympathetic smile, they’re probably shaking their heads, almost laughing at me.

but (there always is a but, isn’t there?) deep down inside, i enjoy it.  i don’t expect others to understand.  someone like me, indulging in such aberrance?  i can’t really defend it, nor explain it to anyone’s satisfaction.

i really want to move on, but i can’t seem to delete black eye peas’ “my humps” from my ringtones.  

please pray for me.