4:45pm

it was 4:45pm on christmas day, and there i was, sitting on the can in an empty office building, reading a free paper i found somewhere.

yes. happy holidays, everyone.

people everywhere were enjoying the day with their loved ones, staying out of the cold weather, laughing, making great new memories while rehasing old ones.

the ones that braved the cold winds were often in pairs. lovers taking a stroll, huddling together, laughing, smiling at each other.

i'm not envious.

really. not at all.

ok. maybe i am.

just a bit.

ok. maybe quite a bit.

don't quite remember feeling like this at all in past years. i've always been the solitary type, preferring to spend time alone than with others. maybe with old age, comes drastic changes in needs and wants.

bah. can't wait till the fucking holidays are over.