lobsters 1, ed 0

apparently, lobsters aren't just little buggers with rubber bands on their claws, sitting on top of each other in the tank in the local supermarket seafood section.

who knew that they actually lived underwater, under rocks and in crevices, with their antenna's sticking out?

all i knew of lobster was that it tasted hella nice with some melted butter, so of course i'd figure that me, super duper master genius diver, would have no problem picking them up and examining them.

and of course, i'd be wrong.

those little bugs actually get really defensive when you approach them. their eyes and claws always pointed to you, even as you move side by side, trying to find an angle to pick them up without getting pinched.

the smarter ones hide under rocks, but the dumber ones just walk along the sandy bottom, perhaps going to the grocery store. i'm not sure.

so i decide to pick on the dumb ones. but dumb doesn't mean slow reaction times, i found out. i challenged a few of them, but was pretty much too chicken shit, and only managed to pick one up.

i am nothing compared to them underwater, i realized.

so i had some lobster for dinner.

bitches. who's got the last laugh?