weekend by the numbers

total golf time : 12 hrs.
time debating if we should go to AC : 1 hr
drive up to AC : 3.5 hrs
gambling : 6 hrs
number of playable hands : 10
number of hands won : 3
number of times i cussed out the world : 3489962895
amount of cash donated to the AC township : 22849 (yen) / 5407 (rubles) / 200 (usd)
number of crack whores seen : 0
number of strippers visited : 0
time we departed AC : what time did i lose all my money?
time spent eating breakfast at mcD : 15 minutes
time spent driving before fading and finding spot to nap : 10 minutes
time spent napping at location 1 : 1 hr
time spent driving before fading again : 20 minutes
time spent locating perfect napping spot with shade : 10 minutes
time spent on 2nd nap : 2 hrs
time spent napping after somehow miraculously getting home : 3 hrs.
text messages received/sent during said nap : 2
phone calls during said nap : 3
phone calls that i can remember the actual conversation : 1
time spent staring : 4 hrs
time spent crying over my non-existant golf game : 1.5
time spent trying not to kill grey fluff for rubbing it in : 4

so it takes a weekend of getting your ass kicked in golf to feel humble, to feel that ok, maybe you’re not that good, no matter what your delusional mind kept on telling you.

it’s ok. sure, i’m hurting like a skinned cat right now, but mark my words, grey fluffy fuck, the day shall come once again, in the near future, where i will be able to look at your 270 yd drives, straight 7 wood, precision chips and dead-on putts and spit in it’s face.

because i am ed.