anxiety

1st stage is set for Tuesday, 2nd stage set for Friday for a grand total of three hours. it’s the same routine, i suppose, but the stakes seem so much higher this time. in a sense, it is. i’m reaching for more, and i need to deliver more.

can i? now that’s the big question now, isn’t it? am i really worth what i’m asking, or am i just trying to land this big scam? a lot of times i feel like i don’t know much, but somehow i’ve managed to finagle my way to this point. maybe that in itself is worth something.

my fucking hands are getting clammy just thinking about it.