stupid ass

as kids, we are greatly influenced by our parents. it's not a conscious decision. it just happens. when we're young (omg, i'm an old fuck) we often laugh at their mannerisms because we "know it all", and we deem them to be super duper uncool. but as we grow up, undoubtedly a few obvious signs that we've absorbed their mannerisms will pop up.

i caught myself saying "stupid ass" after i got home from work today. i was probably talking to the cat, telling him about my day as he was cleaning his ass.

i caught myself in mid-sentence after i uttered those two words. i smiled.

i first heard that from my dad. it was the last time he came, if i remember correctly. i was like, what kind of word is stupid ass? it sounds so awkward, so Malaysian. i almost laughed at him when i heard him use it. and now here i am, using it automatically, without thought.

somehow, it sounded just right this time.