stupid ass

as kids, we are greatly influenced by our parents. it's not a conscious decision. it just happens. when we're young (omg, i'm an old fuck) we often laugh at their mannerisms because we "know it all", and we deem them to be super duper uncool. but as we grow up, undoubtedly a few obvious signs that we've absorbed their mannerisms will pop up.

i caught myself saying "stupid ass" after i got home from work today. i was probably talking to the cat, telling him about my day as he was cleaning his ass.

i caught myself in mid-sentence after i uttered those two words. i smiled.

i first heard that from my dad. it was the last time he came, if i remember correctly. i was like, what kind of word is stupid ass? it sounds so awkward, so Malaysian. i almost laughed at him when i heard him use it. and now here i am, using it automatically, without thought.

somehow, it sounded just right this time.

see cat

dude, this couch is like comfy and shit. and i'm tired, because i did absolutely nothing today. it's tiring, you know.


head is too heavy. must be all the brainpower i have. i hate my nose too. need to flatten it.


sniff sniff. smells like ass, dude. can you wash this shit?


zzz.....catnip, greenies, birdies, canned food....zzzzzzzzzz

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let's say you're not the sharpest sea urchin in the sea (see exhibit A: me) and the time is midnight. you see a samurai soduku puzzle on the nightstand next to the bed. a puzzle that you've been working on for what seems like 3 yrs and still only have less than half the numbers filled in.

and somehow you feel that it's the appropriate time to try to solve more of the puzzle. um, yeah.

90 minutes later and NOT ONE NUMBER ADDED, i felt this surge of rage and frustration boil inside me. i wanted to rip that sheet of paper and shove it up the cats ass. but somehow, i resisted.

wow, i really am mellowing with age.

i hate soduku.