day 2

it's day 2 of my restless sleep.

i feel weird. i don't necessarily feel tired, but i feel sluggish. i wake up in the middle of the night in 30 minute intervals it seems. I don't wake up energetic, but strangely, i have less trouble getting my fat ass outta bed in the morning. throughout the day, i feel fine, except that my eyes get dry and irritated in the early afternoon. so this is what being in the twilight zone feels like. i'm like the walking dead. weird sensation.

i wonder how long this will go on.

-

the washington post had this article over the weekend about pet care. One thing it focusedon was when to say enough is enough and left the pet go.there was an example of a cat with a kidney transplant and how even with all the daily meds,it was the best decision they made.
did i do the right thing? i never broached that topic with the vet, even though i read somewhere that it was an option. was i too selfish? was it because i didn't want to spend the money on the transplant and the commitment to give her meds for the rest of her life? i don't know. maybe i doknow but i don't want to admit it.

i don't know if i'll ever get a satisfactory answer. did i do enough? did i do all i could? maybe ishould've done more for her. maybe she would've lived much longer after the transplant.
sometimes i close my eyes at night and i see bibi. i see her sitting there, looking at me. i see hercrawling into bed, looking to squeeze under the blankets. i see her on the doctor's table at the end.

i try to find some clues. something that says i did the best for her. i can't find any. i don't know. i really don't.

up or down

i've decided that i should start doing some of the things that i have always said i'd do one day. now i'm having trouble decide what to do.

i've always liked the ocean, so wanting to learn scuba diving was a natural progression. Something about watching fish wander by around me just soothes me to no end. Either that or the fact that I still kinda believe in mermaids. So that was always the thing to do, but all of a sudden, something else came up.

flying.

being able to get in a plane and fly places. geez. imagine the freedom. imagine me getting my scuba gear and flying down to florida for the weekend, or up to boston to visit my sister. or flying down to myrtle beach to play a round of golf.

i'm torn.

i'm gonna be there next yr.

just read an article about spain's tomato food fight festival. apparently every year in Bunol, Spain, people throw around 130 tons of tomatos at each other, reducing it to a bloody pulp. strangely, it sounds very intriguing to me.

not sure how it'll be, but i want to do it. already planned on visiting europe next summer/fall, so i'll try to fit this onto the list of things to do.

see ya there

things i need to do

• get a digital camera. should start documenting life (either mine or those around)
• find out when class starts, buy books
• start plotting out the invoice project. set deadlines and milestones
• sleep earlier
• search for a new job

good night.

am i alone?

i have this strange feeling that i'm the only one here.

this sucks.

ARRRRR!!!!!!

I pulled up cnn.com late last night, just to catch up on some news before I went to bed. Then I read that "The Scream" by Edvard Munch was stolen.

My favorite painting of all time. Not "this is cool" kinda favorite. It's a "I'm gonna hire some dudes to steal it for me when I become a mega-gazillionaire" kinda favorite. For a while I was racking my brain, trying to decide what painting I should now steal when i become filthy rich.

Then I read that there's actually 4 versions of "The Scream" out there. apparently Munch drew the same picture 4 times. Before, I read that he was a bit nutsy. Now I'm sure. Who in their right mind would execute 4 versions of the same painting?

but who cares? there's 3 more versions of my "to steal painting" out there.

Oh My Gawd

i'm turning into a valley girl.

whenever i'm having a conversation with someone, i keep on reverting to a valley girl impersonation. it's like, so uncool and stuff. i like, can't really, like control myself and stuff.

i like should stop watching clueless and stuff.
as if!
whatever!
*rolls eyes*

someone shoot me please.

poor kitties

.

i guess i'm the pol pot of kitties.

it's one of them days

it's one of those days again. slightly bored, tired and anti-social.

kinda wanna go out and grab a cup of coffee with a friend or two, but non of ones I wanna chill with is free.

maybe i'll go by myself and read today's paper. maybe i'll just people watch. maybei'll go talk to a stranger.

maybe i'll just sit home.

madden 2005

i suck at these sports simulation games, but every year, i have this urge to pick it up. i keep thinking, "hey, maybe this year i'll be able to actually complete a pass." But it never happens. i suck at video games.

i can kick your ass in puzzle fighter though.