my tshirt slogan of the day

"friends do not let obese friends wear short skirts"

this phrase could be the one idea that propels me onto the Fortune magazine richest man list.

sit idly as the world passes by

it's the best feeling in the world when you're on vacation. the hustle and bustle of the locals, trying to get to work, get home, go about their daily routine, while you prop your legs up and relax, with no real purpose or timetable.

i need to do this more often.

$5 it's an Audi

walking back from the T after dropping off some friends.

snow's coming down hard, and the wind's blowing. can barely feel my hands, face, ears, nose, feet and balls at this time.

wondering if sitting inside the car then would be just like living in an igloo.

virgin in snow

this intersection was really really yellow, for some reason.

5 seconds after i took this picture, a police cruiser came by, saying something on the loudhorn. for a second, i was afraid that they thought i was a terrorist and arrest me.

turns out they were informing law abiding citizens such as myself that boston was under snow emergency.

dandruff

after dinner, snow came down hard.

looked up and was attacked by the giant snowflakes seen in the picture.

i went to the police station to log a report, but they just laughed at me.

must be because i'm an out-of-towner.

hi, little doggy

plane / 2

2004

inevitably, this time every year, i become a girl and actually start feeling things.

i reflect on the past yr,
the ups and downs,
what was not and what could've been,
what was and what if it was not.

this past year has been a decent year for me.
finally stepped out of my comfort zone and took a risk.
dandan's still healthy, i'm still standing.
the house hasn't burnt down yet.

i guess i should also thank all the people in my life.
for tolerating me and my foolishness,
for allowing me to play a role in you pathetic, sad...um, i mean in your wonderful, happy existence.
may our paths always be intertwined.

have a great 2005.

G..G..G..Fuck me

If i hear 50 cent's "G..G..G..G..G-Unit" once more, i swear i’ll lose it.

i absolutely cannot stand it, but funny thing is, every time i hear it, i start to repeat it almost automatically.

it’s almost like i was hypnotized by 50 cent and he planted that inside my psyche, only i never woke up fully when he snapped his fingers.

sometimes i wonder what else goes on up there in my head.

i'm not that weird, am i? (part two)

shamalaya ding dong.

i was driving somwhere (don't remember the exact destination) when that just popped up in my head.

i find it quite funny.

it popped into my head just now, and i chuckled. so here i am, sharing it with you.

shamalaya ding dong.

i'm not that weird, am i?

throughout discussions scattered over the weekend, it was determined that it's against the norm that i

- do not own a comb. There are no combs in my house.
- do not own a hair dryer.

i think it's perfectly normal for someone to be able to function without a comb. can't you just use your hands?

hi, little kitty cat

sweet child o' mine

call me old fashion, call me fossilized.

guns n' roses are still the best band.

it doesn't matter that they were the first rock band i was truly exposed to, or i listened to them through my formative years or they were the typical 80's big hair rock band.

sweet child o' mine, patience, don't cry, november rain, knockin' on heaven's door, welcome to the jungle, just to list a few.

from axl's ego to slash playing the guitar solo, hair covering his whole face with only the end of a lit cigarette visible.

still remember when they performed at the MTV VMAs a couple yrs ago. only axl, a drastically different axl, was left from the original group, but they played welcome to the jungle, and i had goosebumps for the entire song. still get goosebumps thinking about it.

guess i'll have to make do with velvet revolver now until Chinese Democracy comes out.

what could've been

years ago, the three of us were sitting in bistro francais in georgetown, enjoying a late night dinner.

the discussion somehow went to coming up with ideas and getting venture caps to fund us, thus making a gazillion billion dollars.

i came up with a usb peripheral that you could have sex with, that somehow it would be a simulation of sex. for geeks that never leave their computers. what does this have to do with the story? nothing. just thought i'd mention it, that's all.

then someone (don't remember who, exactly) came up with the idea of having a machine that would emit scents depending on which website the user was visiting. for example, if someone was visiting a travel site and looked at beach destinations, the machine would emit some sort of beachy smell. ocean breeze maybe.

the idea somehow died. maybe it was because we knew nothing about the makeup of smells, if it could be broken down into a few basic scents that could be mixed together at a later time to produce various different scents. maybe it was just because we didn't really think it would lead anywhere. maybe we weren't aggressive enough.

today, one of the other two people involved in this conversation emailed the rest of us.

it could've been us

snapshot

listening to:
-little birdy
-the postal service
-Asobi Seksu

watching:
-The Office
-Dead like me

current positions:
-anf
-ascl
-av
-exas
-msft

reading:
-The split second by Baldacci, David
-Still life by Elliot, Bruce.

what hypothermia?

against my better judgement, i did actually go to the driving range after work.

apparently, i'm not the only nut job around the area. it was under 30 degrees and there were 3 people already at the driving range.

got 50 balls, and started hacking away. pretty fun, except i couldn't feel my fingers half the time. hit the ball decent. got me thinking, do i even need to feel my fingers to hit a decent golf shot? not for me, i reckon.

oh, and laundry from last night is still in the dryer. anyone want to come grab it, fold it and bring it upstairs?

tsk tsk tsk

"lost in translation girl" is supposedly dating "biggest asshole on NY Yankees".

sure, i won't date you, Scarlett, but do you have to sink that low?

i know i am nuts, but what are you?

it's one of the coldest days of the year so far today. One of those "hands about to fall off after standing outside for 5 seconds" cold.

so what do i think of?

golf.

i feel like going to the driving range and spank some golf balls. so being the logical person that i am, i have decided to ignore the cold weather and go out to the driving range tonight after work. i sure hope the heater works.

sunset sunrise

before sunrise was 9 yrs ago, when i was younger. how i yearned for that connection with that someone and have that kind of connection. sure, it was only for one night, but the brash, intense conversation was more than what i dared to dream for.

before sunset is 9 yrs later. both went their separate ways, living out vastly different lives. things didn't go as planned. on the surface, both have moved on to bigger and better things, but things are not as they seem.

just like life, i guess. we all yearn for something, and maybe some of us get it while the rest of us aren't as fortunate. but as time moves on, we get to a point in our lives where maybe what we have isn't have isn't what we want. what we want we cannot obtain.

i hate open interpretation endings because i hate the possibility of it not being a happy one, but i suppose it's a more accurate reflection of life. i hate to admit it, but the open endings for these movies are perfect. if everything was tied up into a tidy red bow it would've been a cheesy hollywood type ending. it's almost the ending doesn't really matter, for no matter how brief the connection, that is more important than the outcome.

don't think i'm getting my point across very well at all. watching movies like this always fills me up with emotions that i can't really even begin to describe.

i should just stick to watching sports on tv.

why

do i have enya songs on my computer?

do i still sign on to icq?

do i check cnn.com every 5 minutes even though i know there's nothing new?

do i bring english muffins in the morning when i know i'm not gonna eat it?

decisions, decisions

do i want to be a CEO of a company making huge bucks, living the high life

or

do i want to be a high school teacher in a small town, living a plain and simple life.

what am i feeling?

i'm ok,
with a dash of uneasiness,
a tinge of sadness,
a sip of indifference
and a pinch of jealousy
all rolled up into one.

i'm on a roller coaster that will not stop.

and people say i'm emotionally withdrawn.

reminiscing of old times

we went through cloud nine and down the depths of hell. all along the way, we experienced it together, side by side, hand in hand.

i let your hand slip, and we ventured apart, free from each other, into the unknown.

may you find your way, one with less resistance, less pain, less uncertainty.

i wish you true happiness.

insane in the membrane

so this morning, i'm driving to work.
for the first 15 mins, everything's going along smoothly. it's a beautiful day, the sun's out, cars zooming along. just wonderful.

then traffic comes to a standstill. no exaggeration there. complete fucking stop. normally, i'd be ok.

but not today.

something inside me just totally flipped. i went insane. i became totally frustrated, even though i knew there was nothing i could've done to change the situation.

i started talking to other drivers, warning them not to fucking cut me off, or i'd kick their ass. and i asked a couple hot chicks that were in the next car out on dates, but they never replied. i wonder why.

but i digress.

so anyways, i was in the car, just fucking cussing at everything around me. i think i even gave a grandma the finger (come on, cut me some slack. i was pissed) god damn it. i'm getting pissed just thinking about it.

useless piece of crap

i almost choked on the powdered sugar on the doughnuts. inhaled it, and spent 5 minutes trying to get it out of my windpipe.

doughnuts suck.

hmm....doughnuts

is there anything better than coffee and doughnuts in the morning?

i'm not even talking about $5 per cup starbucks "premium" coffee. even the shredded tree bark the office calls coffee still tastes and smells insanely wonderful in the morning.

to top it off, someone brought in doughnuts this morning.

what a fucking wonderful morning.

blonde redhead

the way your voice sounds, like the wind whistling through the autumn leaves.
the way you float on stage, confident and carefree.
the way you move your body, swaying ever so slightly to the music
the way your dress draping over your body, feminine and beautiful.

NaNoWriMo

nanowrimo

apparently every november people are encouraged to go crazy and just start spitting words. 50000 words in a month. hmmn...wonder if i can do that. quantity over quality. that's 1600 words a day. very interesting.

i think i'll mull it over. maybe come up with a couple of characters first, then start and let it go whereever (how the fuck do you spell that) it goes.

i'm very intrigued. maybe i'll start jan 1st.

who wants to join me?

bastard

i'm sitting in bed, surfing the net, looking at animal porn, about to go to sleep. then i look over and see the cat sleeping at the foot of the bed. he was sitting with his legs tucked under, tail wrapped around his body. he looked so damn cute that i almost started having feelings like a girl would have.

so i decided to try to take a picture, since the camera's right next to my bed. i slowly reach over, and grab the camera. look over at him, good. he hasn't moved one bit.

i turn on the camera, and the lens unwinds. i adjust the camera for the dim lighting and look up at the cat. he's standing up, looking straight at me, wide awake.

i believe he knows i'm trying to take a picture of him. so what does he do? he stretches and leaves the room.

little bastard. i swear he's gonna maul me tonight.