i'm out, bitches!

running on a treadmill

i should not be feeling like this, but i do.

i just took a small leap into the business world, which is going to a wonderful learning experience and hopefully, a small income generator.

i have a condo closing at the end of the year. I haven't closed on it yet, but it has appreciated a small amount since i signed the sales contract, so that's a good thing too.

why do i feel like there's still something missing? something elusive that i've been yearning for for the longest time. what am i missing? friends? not many, but i do have a select few. girl? that would temporarily distract me, but after a while, i would still feel the same discontent.

so what then? it's as if i should be out chasing something, but i don't even know what it is.

so i sit here and blog.

CPC Tour

This is the 2nd yr of the Crappy Players Championship (CPC) Tour's existance.

In it's inaugural season of the tour, we've only had 2 stops, both of them in Maryland. Now, as our obsession with golf grows, so has the number of stops on the tour.

I'm proud to announce CPC's first Nevada stop. This Sunday, May 29th, 2005, at Siena Golf Club. Tee time's at 11:45am. Trash talking* has already commenced.


*by the way, if you just listened to our trash talking, you'd think that we actually know how to play the game of golf. but we don't. so when one says "i'll beat you", that means instead of 80 over par, he's going to shoot 75 over.

bow to me, expert photo taker

i finally skimmed through the instruction manual of the digital camera today, and now i know how to produce panoramic pictures :)

you can still see the borders that the pictures merge on though, and the angles are a bit off, so it looks like i'm living in some sort of salvador dali painting, but at least it's panoramic, so stop complaining. (damn, that was the mother of all run-on sentences, wasn't it?)

my place is such a mess, isn't it?

hold me, i'm scared

apparently the bleeding was supposed to have stopped by now. so i guess i'm in a state of leakage.

i hope they don't have to stitch me up again, or i'll be screaming like a slaughtered pig.

doc's appt at 2pm today.

the weekend flew by, didn't it?

sure, i was drugged out half the time. of course i was also not able to eat anything remotely solid for the past few days.

but hey, it was a fun experience. i mean "is", not "was", since i'm still spitting blood, and the pain's still there. significantly less though, but it's still there.

so a coworker called me on friday and told me to call landau. i called him, and he asked how i was. i told him i was feeling shitty (not in those exact words). he said "take today to recover, take tomorrow to recover, but i need you to come in on sunday to do something". after trying 10000 different ways to get out of it without any sign of success, i finally said yes.

i didn't go in today. i felt it was unnecessary, since i could just finish the task first thing tomorrow.

i hope i'm not fired.

minus 4

my tongue's numb, my chin feels funny. i taste blood, but i can't feel my lips. it stings slightly at the back of my mouth, but it's not unbearable.

i remember watching them put a butterfly in my left forearm, and me leaning back. then i woke up. with my mouth numb. this shit had better not be a permanent thing.

fuck, i'm hungry.

note on my cell

4:57pm

feel conflicted everytime i see you.
am i too lonely? or is it more?
wish i knew.

too late now.

meeting notes

flip open the dictionary, look under "dedicated employee", and you'll see a picture of me.

i did not surf the web while others were talking during the meeting. Nor did i zone out and day dream. not at all.

i took notes. great notes, you know, just because i'm cool like that.

i'm such a dork

yes i'll admit it.

it's not my fault. burger king was selling it for only $2.

retards trying to grill

this is what happens when you don't have a firestarter for the grill. we gave up after 20 minutes of futile attempts.

attempt #2 commences at 1900 tomorrow.

i'm allergic to

cooking. i kid you not.

i have 2 cuts of filet mignon and pork tenderloin sitting in my fridge.

thawed it out last night in the fridge, and was planning on doing something with it tonight for dinner, but of course, that didn't happen.

countless times have i bought a a variety of meats and vegetables when i'm out shopping for chips and soda, only to have them rot in my fridge for months on end.

from time to time, i'll say "ok, i'm cooking tonight", but it rarely happens. i always end up pushing it back, while i'm eating a whopper.

will someone stand next to me and force me to cook, please?

personal ad

i was surfing on craigslist today at work, and i came across the personals. some of them were quite witty, so that got me thinking how i would actually describe myself and what i'm looking for.

so i've been trying to write something incredibly funny and cool and nice for the past 30 minutes to no avail. turns out i don't really have much good stuff to write about, and i have no clue what i want in the other person.

i'll keep on revising it, and maybe, just maybe one day i'll actually post it on craigslist.

27th

dinner at agrodolce was great. old and new friends having a merry time, laughing and eating.

as dinner wound down, i leaned back, and just watched. not too bad, i thought, with a smile on my face.

so i started to stretch, with my hands straight sticking out behind my head forming a v shape. as i slowly got to my full stretch, i felt something soft on my right knuckle.

i quickly retracted my hand and turned to see our waitress standing there, kinda stunned. i don't really remember what happened next, but i'm hoping i apologized. i do remember all my "friends" laughing at me though. fuckers.

and that, is how i accidentally molested a waitress on my 27th birthday.

pssst psst

oh great.

my "whisper into the phone all day and think that no one can hear me but in reality we can hear every single word you say" co-worker is back from maternity leave.

yay.

utter lack of self control

it was 10:30pm, and i had just finished my dinner. unagi and rice. not gourmet stuff, but hey, food's food.

i sat there and told myself, ok, a few more minutes and let's go get ready for bed. i started channel surfing and came across Mighty Ducks 2 showing.

fuck.

it's now 1am, and i'm just getting ready for bed. i really should stop doing this.

random pics from the vault

i'm lying in bed (no, not naked, you pervs), looking through the pictures that i have captured in the past 6 months. i have a lot of pictures of the stupid cat and useless things.

so, as a one time deal (until the next time i feel like doing this), i decided to post a couple random pictures just to show you that i'm cool like that.

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this was taken on march 8th. my dad was in town, and we were just leaving my grandma's after dinner. taken through the window of my car, thus the reflection and slight blurriness. blue sky's incredibly beautiful, isn't it?

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this picture was taken november 9th last year. i just got the camera, so i was pretty much snapping pictures of anything and everything. i think dandan wasn't too happy about me holding him for a picture.

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this was taken march 10th. i was in annapolis to meet with a couple of people about the side job, and i was told that traffic would be horrible, so i left 2 hrs before the meeting time. i got there in 45 minutes, so i spent about an hour walking around the city. i wandered into this dark alley and was setting up for this picture when a lady walked past. i think she probably worried that i was going to rob her.

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it's interesting that when i look back at those pictures, i can remember so much of what happened when the picture was taken. snapshots of my history, i suppose.

ok, enough blabbering. hope you liked the stupid pictures.

musical taste

i'm in a weird place emotionally. i have no emotional anchor, no strength in my positions. no emotional fortitude at all.

and all the music i come across is about love, hope, and all the happy lovey dovey stuff, which is the wind to my sails, pushing me even closer towards instability.

so i've turned to rap. funny how lyrics about bling, dubs, escalades, ho's and drugs put me at ease.

dinner, part deux

i just burped and regurgitated something that tasted/smelt like mcD fries. i haven't had mcDs since early last week though.

how does half digested chinese food become fries?

forecast

mostly busy during the work hours. chances of isolated pockets of boredom. high pressure system moving in during the early part of the week, but should move out by tuesday afternoon. clouds of discontent to move in on late wednesday night, changing over to a depression on thursday. clearing out on friday, going back to normal indifference.

i remember

when i was 12 or 13, i had a crush on this girl. i can't even remember her name or face now, it's been ages. i'm the shy kid, and i don't think i really ever talked to her much.

i think it was close to graduating from primary school, and i decided to give her a gift. i went and bought loads of colored paper, then sliced them up and made stars out of the strips. it probably wasn't that many stars, but it took quite a while for me to finish it. i dumped them all into a 1 litre coca cola bottle and gave it to her.

i don't think she ever said anything to me, and after we graduated, i never saw her again.

funny how random things pop up in your mind.

'twas a nice day outside

so i chilled with dandan outside for a while. brushed him while he eyed the squirrels with a distrustful eye. he hates them squirrels. i once saw him actually use his paw to bitch slap a dumb squirrel that ran across the deck. attaboy, dandan.

he loves being out on the deck on a beautiful day. he could spend hours sitting outside under the small bench, taking in every sight and sound.

i wish i could stay home more often so he could get to enjoy the nice weather more often.

fingers crossed

this could be the beginning of something interesting, or it could just be a waste of a few hours.

i sure hope it's the former, not the latter. this could be a nice addition to my life, if everything turns out the way i envision it.

well, wish me luck.

the bestest quiz ever

the one and only quiz that will ever appear on this blog

new shirt?

because of some work stuff, i actually didn't show up in jeans today. i'm all blinged out today. well, blinged out comparatively, you know, to my usual jeans and shirt look. not rap star blinged out. i don't have a 10 carat diamond 'ED' hanging from my neck. it's at home, bitches.

anyways, i'm feeling nice. prancing into work. i get through the front door, all confident, and what do i hear the lady say?

"new shirt?", with a chuckle.

ok. what does that mean? does that mean "nice new shirt"? or does she mean, "dumbass, new shirt so you wear it to work? you loser showoff"? or was that statement completely sarcastic as in "ugly new shirt, dude?"

no, i don't over-analyze things like a girl.

useless information about me

i do most of my thinking on a couple of occasions during the day : while i'm driving to/from work and while i'm showering.

sometimes when i'm driving back from work, i get lost in my thoughts, and before i know it, i'm almost home. it's scary to think that i'm out there driving on the highway without having any recollection of what happened. i could've run over someone without even knowing it. maybe that's where the red dent on the front bumper came from. um, forget what i just said.

another safer zoning out period for me is when i'm showering. no, i don't know why either. i find that i get so immersed in whatever useless thing i'm thinking about that i forget if i had just washed my hair, face or body. so i stand there and try to think back, but of course, i end up washing all over again.

i'm so weird.

i clean up decent, don't i?